jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
