Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
