He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
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Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
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I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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