I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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