Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So many bounce houses so little time
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
