I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
