just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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