We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
PS: I just woke up from my shower
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I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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