Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
