my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
