now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
