Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
