Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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