I hope mine doesn't look like that
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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