I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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