I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
