I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
