I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
