Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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