idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
