I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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