I puked a lego.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
