So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
