In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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