just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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