Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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