it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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