Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
