You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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