before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
