i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
