I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
barbara walters just said penis...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
