ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
