we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
