Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
