she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
