Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
