There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
