After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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