..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
