whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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