did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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