dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
