I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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