All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
