i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i wish my penis had a tongue
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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