batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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