You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
