The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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