He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
