Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
