these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
