Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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