is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
