I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Terrible idea I love it
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize