redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
