Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
