oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
