just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
