Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize