The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize