i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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